Remember this post, last week? The one where I talked about toddler tantrums and overwhelming moments with the kids? The one that I wrote as much as a reminder to myself, an admonition to take hold of the little moments, and embrace all these moments, even when I feel discouraged and honestly just want to crawl into a deep, dark hole? Yep. Last week continued much on the same wavelength. My dear children are showing their toddler stage, and there has been much testing and trying of boundaries. A lot of "don't bite her!", and "you are in a time out", and "that was not kind of you!" - oy! Add to that a wee baby with a cold, who has a hard time sleeping through a congested nose, and you've got the perfect mix for a worn out, slightly discouraged mama!
I am trying my best to continually shift my focus back to the One who gives me strength, because I know that in the moments that I feel the weakest and the most overwhelmed, I really just desperately need Jesus. It is not easy. I have messed up a lot lately. It is amazing what beautifully messy lives we really do lead. But there is much grace. And much forgiveness. And I am so thankful for Jesus. And the way that in spite of my failures and my dirt, He makes new and beautiful things.
There are a lot of things in my head and in our life that I am eager to share - from photos and big changes coming up, to my thoughts on goals for 2013 and my 4-month old Evie - but it's been a bit crazy around here, and I am just sneaking in for a few minutes during naptime to share a few things that have really encouraged me and made me smile this week:
Andrea's blog post really resonated with my mama feelings. Plus, her photos are just gorgeous!
Two friends last week mentioned making homemade fruit snacks, and I am eager to try them.
Jami's post on anger really hit home, and has really made me take a step back, and think deeply about discipline and where my heart is at.
I love these pretty fonts. Totally inspired me to want to re-do my blog design!
Thought this was a great blog post on being a good team member.
Totally needed this reminder, and to hear this song, today.
I am slightly in love with the idea of chalkboard paint - now, to decide on a good project!
A great blog post on having a manifesto, a sort of gentle reminder and a guide, for your day. I needed to read this. A lot.
I've been slowly catching up on Downton Abbey, season 3. Can't get enough!
There ya have it. The things that I have found encouragement - and the knowledge that I am not alone - this past week. Perfect timing. I hear a small babe waking up, and it won't be long before the other two are up. Happy Monday afternoon!
I am trying my best to continually shift my focus back to the One who gives me strength, because I know that in the moments that I feel the weakest and the most overwhelmed, I really just desperately need Jesus. It is not easy. I have messed up a lot lately. It is amazing what beautifully messy lives we really do lead. But there is much grace. And much forgiveness. And I am so thankful for Jesus. And the way that in spite of my failures and my dirt, He makes new and beautiful things.
There are a lot of things in my head and in our life that I am eager to share - from photos and big changes coming up, to my thoughts on goals for 2013 and my 4-month old Evie - but it's been a bit crazy around here, and I am just sneaking in for a few minutes during naptime to share a few things that have really encouraged me and made me smile this week:
Andrea's blog post really resonated with my mama feelings. Plus, her photos are just gorgeous!
Two friends last week mentioned making homemade fruit snacks, and I am eager to try them.
Jami's post on anger really hit home, and has really made me take a step back, and think deeply about discipline and where my heart is at.
I love these pretty fonts. Totally inspired me to want to re-do my blog design!
Thought this was a great blog post on being a good team member.
Totally needed this reminder, and to hear this song, today.
I am slightly in love with the idea of chalkboard paint - now, to decide on a good project!
A great blog post on having a manifesto, a sort of gentle reminder and a guide, for your day. I needed to read this. A lot.
I've been slowly catching up on Downton Abbey, season 3. Can't get enough!
There ya have it. The things that I have found encouragement - and the knowledge that I am not alone - this past week. Perfect timing. I hear a small babe waking up, and it won't be long before the other two are up. Happy Monday afternoon!
I probably should have been sweeping up the kitchen floor - it looks like a pretzel/veggie straw/craisin bomb went off. And I needed to get the laundry folded, so the load that's done in the washing machine doesn't start to smell all mildew-y. But it's been a long, rough weekend, and this mama needed a cup of coffee and some blogging time during naptime.
What the pictures don't show are the many all-out tantrums that occurred, or the screaming that ensued when 3-year olds didn't get their way, or the fussy baby, or the 2-year old throwing a fit because he didn't get to shut the dishwasher himself. Oy. It's been a weekend demanding much patience and grace. Sometimes, life just feels messy, you know? I do not pretend to be a super-mama, or to have it all together - and this weekend was such a real reminder of that. There are plenty of happy, joyful times around here - times that joy and peace just naturally happen. And there are other times when I have to constantly seek and choose joy, when I have to stop and take that deep breath before responding, because man alive, I just want to react. And not in a pleasant way, mind you.
I turned to Max this morning, after buckling Evie into her seat, and commented that she seems easy after dealing with two toddlers who are attempting to demand their way and push all the boundaries they can. I know they are just figuring out the way the world works, and pushing to see what they can get away with, and I know that we as their parents need to stand firm and teach them that the boundaries are not theirs to decide - but that can be challenging after tantrum #42, or after telling them "no" for the 18th time.
In spite of a weekend chock full of testing toddlers, we've had a good few days - lots of lounging around, reading books, playing with toys, making meals together, playing outside, and laughing. Max has been hard at work, trying to tear down and sell his big fish tank, and set up a smaller one that can more easily move with us in the near future. He's put in a lot of hours in the garage, doing what he calls "manly things". We started working on re-caning our kitchen chairs last night, and quickly realized that while it's not terribly hard work, it's time intensive and slightly tedious - it'll take us a few more days to get those done.
The other day, Eliana woke up from her nap before Ezzy. She came downstairs with me, and I got her a snack. I was then working on getting dinner prep started, when she came over to me and said, "Hey Mom? Can I take the car out, please?". I had this weird moment, because all of a sudden, I saw time flashing by, and she was standing there, a few feet taller, same beautiful girl, same question, as a 16-year old, and I about wet my pants at the thought of time going so quickly and my little baby being big enough to drive a car by herself.
It was a good reminder that although we are knee deep in tantrums and boundary pushing and precious toddler teaching moments, time keeps moving on. Tomorrow is a new day, and it'll be here before I know it. It can be hard some days, but I really do need to strive to embrace the little moments - the spilled snacks on the floor, the rocking of the babies at night, the chubby 2-year old hands tickling me with glee, the night feedings, the spontaneous hugs, the sweet 3-year old learning and singing songs - and not rush through them, not lose sight of these little, beautiful moments.
I don't want to all of a sudden have a 16-year old daughter, asking me to take the car out, and realize I missed out, or didn't make the time to notice the seemingly small things. I want more. I want joy and memories and moments that might be hard, but are so good. Being a mama is hard work, and some days I get discouraged and easily frustrated. I am not always patient or kind. And in hindsight, that is so convicting. I am so thankful for grace upon grace upon grace. And new beginnings each and every morning.
So, here's to the little moments and the constant struggle to embrace each small wonder, in spite of how hard it can sometimes appear to be. I will choose joy, even if sometimes I just want to sell my toddlers or lock myself in the bathroom for ten minutes.
When we were making plans to go to Minnesota, one of the things that I really wanted to do was set up a time to get some updated family photos taken. And then I talked with my mom, who echoed that thought, in wanting some nice photos taken of us (my mom, dad, brother, etc), so we looked into getting them all done together. SO glad we decided to do this, and made time to get them done. I contacted a friend from high school, that I knew did photography, and we were thrilled to meet up and spend a morning with him.
Eliana, who we have realized is very shy slow-to-warm and reserved, took a little bit to get used to Tom, and then would only give him her goofiest faces. I guess I taught her well in the be-silly department?! And of course, my always-on-the-go son was a ham for the camera, and had us in stitches the entire time!
We haven't had a decent family picture of my mom, dad, brother, and I in quite some time, so those are very special - and I am loving the ones of my parents, and the one of my brother and I! Oh, and the last photo? The "stiff wind"?! My dad has always done this...uh, special trick...for as long as I can remember. And in high school, I took it upon myself to learn. Then my brother figured out how to do it. Pretty sure my dad has been proud to know that he passed along this fun (and really, not terribly hard to do...it's all about leverage, people...) trick to his kids, and we just HAD to get a photo of it! Too priceless for words there, for real!
All photos by Tom @ DeBruyn Photography
We might be thoroughly enjoying a 70º and sunny day, and don't really miss the freezing cold of Minnesota, but we sure do miss all our family and friends - and my youngest daughter is proud to sport a sweet onesie, thanks to a dear friend! And holy smokes - who else finds it hard to believe how big she's getting?!?
Last week, Max reenlisted for five more years in the Marine Corps. He has been a Radio Operator for the last 3.5 years, but about a year ago, started talking about changing jobs within the Corps - so he set about applying for, and ended up getting, the job he really wanted!
We are very excited, and I know he is really happy with how things have worked out. It'll mean a lot of training ahead for him - and with that, means some big changes coming up for our family (that I'll share as soon as WE know what they are!) - but we are eager for the adventure that lies ahead of us.
Eliana, Ezra, and I got to go watch the reenlistment, which was very exciting - to finally see Daddy at work was a big deal to the kids! They did great, although I may have bribed them with tootsie roll pops, ha ha!
It's funny, because if you would have asked Max 3 years ago, if he would want to reenlist when the time came, he would have definitively told you no. But over the last few years, and especially after his deployment, he has changed and learned a lot - and what he would tell you, is that as he has learned more, he has also realized how much he doesn't know, and wants to learn!
And so about a year ago, when he randomly mentioned that he might want to stay in the Marine Corps for 20+ years, I was a little surprised, but quickly realized how fitting it would be for him. He loves what he does, and is good at it. I might be bragging on him, but I am incredibly proud of the hard work Max does and puts in. I see him thriving and loving what he does, and it makes me happy to see him so happy.
Here's to another five years of Marine Corps life! Ooorah!
It's a few weeks late, but our littlest one is 3 months. She is such a sweet little thing, and we are still having a blast getting to know her personality and the way she likes to do life. Evie loves to smile and "talk" to us and at her toys, which is so fun. She likes to be around us, doing whatever we're doing, and if she feels like she isn't part of the action, she puts up a fuss. She absolutely LOVES bathtime and splashes around like there is no tomorrow - I don't remember if my other two loved bathtime this much, but it's a lot of fun, and a lot of getting wet for us, ha!
These last few weeks have been a whirlwind of traveling, freezing cold snow, celebrating Christmas, a Wedding, visiting with family and dear friends, road trips, a job change and reenlistment for Max, shopping, enjoying the wonderful state of Minnesota, several members of our family getting caught by the flu bug, and attempting to re-adjust back to being home and on our own! It's safe to say that it's been busy, a bit chaotic at times, and altogether lovely lately, and I wouldn't have had it any other way.
At first, I was bound and determined to blog right through it all. But I quickly realized that I would have to sacrifice time with the people I loved, so I nixed that one in the bud. I decided spending quality time and trying to soak in the little moments, as well as actually get some sleep, were much more important.
And that is exactly why it's been a little quiet around the blog. But I'm back, and I'm eager to blog again, to share my heart, my story, and my little family.
At first, I was bound and determined to blog right through it all. But I quickly realized that I would have to sacrifice time with the people I loved, so I nixed that one in the bud. I decided spending quality time and trying to soak in the little moments, as well as actually get some sleep, were much more important.
And that is exactly why it's been a little quiet around the blog. But I'm back, and I'm eager to blog again, to share my heart, my story, and my little family.